Thursday, February 7, 2013

Psychological Suffering: Week 5 Reflection


         There were a couple things brought up in class this week that I have been trying to digest. Firstly, we were asked, if I recall correctly, to describe our experiences as a listener. Second, in regards to today's class; if you don't know exactly what you want to do for a vocation, what do you for sure not want to do?
          I do not have a large amount of clinical experience working in social services, but I did take the Intro to Counseling Practice course last semester in the education department. Part of that class entailed labs which were demo counseling sessions. I don't recall ever having a problem listening to someone for long periods of time without commenting. However, what I did find myself commonly struggling with was an inner dialogue of what I should say next or how to analyze what has just been said. This is really quite detrimental to the process because the client keeps talking while you are thinking. As a result your analysis or comments are accurate to the information previously presented, not to precisely where they left off. Essentially it took some practice to tell my brain to shut up and listen, not just hear them, but to actually intently listen to them.
           One side note I'd like to add is that I found it effective to mentally keep note of certain key words. Usually, for me, a light bulb went off whenever I heard the phrases “I think...” or “I feel...” and those would be thing I'd delve deeper into. Sometimes there is not a lot to say and a client may need to just vent or have someone who actually wants to listen to them. That is only part of our jobs though. There is a sense of expected direction or analysis-solution processing that I think is often expected of counselors. I think that this is very dependent on the client. Perhaps, for a session or two, they just need to “get some things off their chest.” Ultimately, though, if you are a therapist, one must ask if what is happening is actually “therapeutic.” Maybe “venting” is therapeutic for the client or perhaps they need a more linear approach to the sessions.
           In terms of what I want or don't want to do for the rest of my life; this has been something that I have, in the past month or so, spent a lot of time thinking about. I was looking over some different career options and what directions my academic and professional careers might take. I have always wanted to earn a Ph.D. When I was an undergrad student I wanted to go on for my doctorate, although, then, it was to be in philosophy. I am one of the first men in my family to graduate college, let alone obtain a graduate education. I have also felt that I “fit well” in an academic environment and thought that since I had the means and opportunity to obtain a graduate degree that I “owed it” to those who did not to take my academia as far as possible.
           As things changed and my life and career took me in some different directions I started looking at how I would develop myself here at West Georgia. Initially I was very adamant about the “clinical track” and obtaining LPC licensure. But there seemed to be a conflict between this and my desire to earn a doctoral degree. The fact of the matter was that if I completed the clinical program at West Georgia, most of those credit hours (including all clinical work) would not transfer to the doctoral program(s) I would hopefully be entering. I thought that proceeding with the clinical track while applying to doctoral programs would be a goo back-up plan. However, in practical terms; another year's tuition and coursework is a hell of a price to pay for a back up plan I'm hoping I don't need.
With that in mind, I decided to stick with a thesis track here at West Georgia. I'm currently looking at a few different Ph.D and Psy.D programs but that was a whole other animal. What do I want to do with my life? Well, I know that I don't want to be stuck in a cubical punching computer and telephone keys all day. I know that I want to work with people. I have a strong interest in clinical psychology in the medical setting but am also very fond of the academic arena. After talking to one of our professors, she suggested that instead of looking into scientist-practitioner models of training that I might want to look into scholar-practitioner models. After looking at several of these types of programs the idea really appealed to me. Regardless of the training model, it is my opinion that therapeutic “practical” work should be informed by clinical and academic work, and vice versa as well.
           I am still unsure if I would rather work in a medical setting or academic area in addition to my practice, but there are some things I know for sure. I know that I do not want to do a manual labor job for the rest of my life. Typically, the men in my family have been farmers, machinists, and construction workers. As I watch them get to the later end of middle-age and the end of life it has become very clear that they have spent twenty, thirty, or forty years “breaking rocks” (so to speak) and what they have to show for it is a modest income and bodies that are (almost literally) falling apart. I want to take absolute advantage of the opportunities and potential I have. I refuse, not just in academics, to accept anything less than a maximal effort from myself. I know that I will continue to push the envelope in terms of my academic potential until I feel that that fire is no longer being fed. As long as I am passionate about psychotherapy and academia I will be driven to achieve and to succeed. “Go hard, or go home” as they say.

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