Thursday, January 31, 2013

Psychology of Suffering: Week 4 Reflection - Closure, Reclusivity, and The Plague



                This week’s discussions have me thinking about a few different things.  While doing some research I ran across an article titled “The Myth of Closure.”  After having recently read the article, I thought it was pretty relevant to some of the things we’ve been discussing lately, particularly today’s (Thursday’s) discussion.  I’ve also been doing some research on Terror Management Theory and while doing some reading for that I found an interesting paradoxical theory.  This paradoxical claim is that grief / trauma / stress can cause two extreme occurrences to take place.  A dramatic shaking of our core could cause us to strengthen and turn to, perhaps out of desperation and longing for security and understanding, our relationships and connections with other people.  However, the opposite may also occur.  Rather than strengthen our bonds and relationships it is also possible that suffering could drive a wedge in and separate the sufferer from their relationships.  The last thing that I’ve been sitting with is some of our post-class lunch time discussions.  (Feel free to join us in the UCC any time!)  Jodi referenced Albert Camus’ “The Plague” and suggested to Tom that it would be a good read fitting to our discussions.  Camus has been very influential in my life, so I decided to re-read “The Plague” over the last week.
                What I found most interesting in the article I read about closure is that it suggests, and I am tempted to agree, is that closure never really occurs.  The article suggested that the media reporters have beaten the term to death and used it to propagate fairytale-fashioned “happy” endings to their stories.  The article then asserts that the only closure that is taking place is for the reader of the news clipping and the reporter writing it.  The initial sufferer, on the other hand, is still suffering and will continue to do so.  Closure implies a fixing or “getting over” whatever is causing the suffering.  Even ignoring the practical possibilities of this process, I think it is much more “healthy” to grow and move with the post-suffering-events.  What I liked about the article was the point implied notion that life is not like it is in news clippings, books, television, and movies.  The world and your world, hopefully, do not end once suffering has been introduced to it.  Rather, the world and your life continue in spite of it.  We are left to struggle and grow with our suffering as it is now a part of us, not something to be “fixed” or neatly wrapped and billed on a silver screen.
As mentioned earlier, I’ve also been thinking about how relationships are affected by suffering.  On the one hand it is possible that the suffering will ignite our resilience and cause us to dig deep into our relationships as a source of reluctant and comforting understanding.  However, that is an optimistic, perhaps fatally so, outlook.  It is also quite possible that in lieu of suffering one will become reclusive and withdrawn.  We may become divided and overwhelmed by feelings of hopeless and helplessness.  I want to make the point that both categories could be either “healthy” or “unhealthy” outcomes.  Of course a strengthening of relationships would seem the preferred outcome, but what if a dependency builds on those relationships?  What happens when that support structure starts to crumble?  For example, if when dealing with the loss of a loved one you turn to another family member for support you then have to deal with the death of that family member who has provided you with so much comfort?  On the other side, becoming reclusive may seem unhealthy at first, but perhaps it also has its positives.  How many of us have every used (on any scale of “suffering”) the expression “It’s just something I have to deal with by myself”?  Perhaps this reclusiveness provides an opportunity to teach us future resilience and, when called into question, our support structures and coping mechanisms are ultimately strengthened.
                Lastly, The Plague.  I could certainly write an entire essay in great detail about “The Plague”’s revelations of suffering.  However, there are a few parts that really stuck out to me.  During one passage there is a conversation, I do not remember the exact dialogue off hand, in which the doctor is asked “Who taught you all of this?”  He replies, “Suffering.”  I’d like to just leave it at that and let it sit for a while.  The second thing that stuck out to me was the conclusion of the book.  The town’s people are celebrating having “survived” the plague.  But the ending is bittersweet as the doctor reflects his knowledge of the plague, knowledge of which the other people are ignorant.  That is, the fact that plague does not die.  Rather, it comes and goes as it pleases.  It is steadily destructive and after having “runs its course” lies dormant for an indeterminable period of time; maybe weeks, or years, or decades.  In reference to my earlier comments on closure, I think this helps deliver the punchline.  Just as we talked about in class today:  when someone survives a disaster and they say that they “don’t care about their ‘stuff’, their just thankful everyone is alive” ask them in a week or a month if they care about not having a home, or food/water, or electricity, a car, or a job. 

Monday, January 28, 2013

UWG Semester 2 Update: Research Topics

Hey everyone, its been a busy last couple weeks on my end but I wanted to throw up a post to list some of current research projects both for classes I'm enrolled in and other non-class side projects.  It is still fairly early in the semester so most of these ideas are merely tentative but they can provide a bit of a brainstorming snapshot for what I'm currently interested in researching....

Brief / Narrative Therapy - I will have a group (4 persons) and a pair (2 persons) projects for this course.  Both have undecided topics at this time.

Psychology of Suffering Disorders:
          Group Project / Presentation - Undecided at this time, however, it may include working on our state disaster mental health preparedness website ---> georgiadisaster.info  --> This is an extremely comprehensive website that you should consider taking a look at.
          Individual Paper - For my own purposes, the tentative topic for this paper is "Terror Management Theory."  Specifically I will be looking at how trauma and disasters (either on a personal or group scale, or both) affect one's awareness of their inevitable death (mortality salience).  From there research will include coping mechanisms or strategies for dealing with the given predicament.
Here are some useful links: http://www.tmt.missouri.edu/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terror_management_theoryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mortality_salience

Theory and Practice of Clinical Assessment:
          Research Paper / Presentation - This presentation is to be focused on the implementation of two assessment tools / instruments.  Again, this is extremely tentative but I am looking at using a Quality of Life Inventory and Beck's Hopelessness Scale.  

Research Methods:
          I am planning on using this course to prepare for my thesis work next year.  Part of the course requires us to submit a research proposal.  However, rather than chugging out yet another long essay explicitly for the purposes of the course, I will be using the resources and information in the course to prepare a "pre-thesis" proposal.  I will also actually be conducting this study / research myself in the future.  The study will look at perceived emotions relating to freedom, isolation, responsibility, and death in a comparative study of terminally ill medical inpatients compared to non-inpatients and persons not receive medical treatment.

Other Projects:
          Philosophy - Being an avid Camus fan, I have been re-reading "The Plague" and gathering up some information on Kafka, particularly interested in "The Castle"
          Technology - I'm trying to get more acclimated to my Linux computer and use the command prompt more, rather than relying on the graphical user interface (point-click) as much.  My personal distribution of choice is Linux Mint.  For those unfamiliar with Linux, have a look here



Follow me on Twitter @Savaged_Zen

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Career Update: Psychosomatic Medicine, Doctor of Psychology, and Practitioner/Scholars

          Lately I've been mulling over some different paths that my academic and professional careers could take.  I am a Psychology Master's Student at the University of West Georgia.  My focus leading up to the past week has been on becoming licensed as a psychotherapist (ie:  LPC).  I have long since dreamed of also earning a doctorate degree and have had to make some decisions over the past few days.
          Preparing for licensure at West Georgia involves a "clinical" track within our program.  This typically entails three years of study (which include three semesters of practicum) opposed to two years on the "thesis" track.  This effects my doctoral plans in various ways.  Most doctoral programs, if they allow transferring of Master's credits will only do so for 30 credit hours.  In spite of this I was planning on finishing the clinical track here so that if, by chance, I was not to be accepted to a doctoral program; then I would have a back up  plan to proceed with licensure as an LPC.  However, there is a small hitch.  That hitch is that another year of tuition, living expenses, and coursework is a hell of a price to pay for a back up plan I'm hoping I will never need.
          With that in mind I have settled on the "thesis" track here at West Georgia.  I have set up a list of about 7 doctoral programs to apply to for which I'll be working on the applications / interviews this coming summer (the applications being due winter of 2013 for enrollment in the fall of 2014).  I am mostly interested in clinical psychology with a slight motivation towards medical psychology.  However, I still maintain a strong passion for psychotherapy (of the existential flavor) and academia seems to be an environment which I perform well in.  Thus, the training model I am seeking is that of a practitioner-scholar.
          Next fall I will officially enroll in my "thesis" course (semester 1 of 2).  I am enrolled in a "Research Methods" course this semester which I plan to use to set up the foundation for my thesis work.  The focus of this project will be on psychosomatic medicine and psychophysiology.  Specifically I will be looking at the affects of psychotherapy on degenerative illnesses such as (various) cancer(s) and degenerative brain diseases (such as Huntington's Disease).


On a lighter note, these make me smile :)

Monday, January 14, 2013

Development of the Ego Throughout the Lifespan - 7/26/11 republication

Due to the brief nature of my last post, here is another republication from my (now archived blog).  All content is provided in its original state and may not accurately reflect my current views, practices, beliefs, or academic in put.

  Another recent article in Psychology Today examined different psychological traits and their development and strength of their influence at different stages in the  human life.  Again, this post is only supplemental.  Please read the the full article for the author's comments and a graph that will make the below descriptions easier to comprehend.

"Researchers from the University of Basel examined  the self-reported emotions of thousands of 13-to-89-year-olds and discovered trends in how we evaluate ourselves over the lifespan. The overall forecast? The older, the happier." —Katherine Schreiber

Shame - Is highest during highest during adolescence and lowest from adulthood through middle age.  There is a sharp decrease from adolescence to post-young adulthood and a sharp increase from post-middle age to old age.

Pride - Is lowest during adolescence and highest during old age with a steady increase throughout the lifespan.

Guilt - Is lowest during adolescence and steadily increases throughout the lifespan from adolescence to old age, thought it begins to decrease as old age progresses.

Hubris - Is highest during adolescence, sharply decreases from adolescence to middle age.  It is lowest during middle age, is fairly constant from middle age through old age and increases as old age progresses.

Well Being - Is lowest during adolescence, steadily increases from adolescence to pre-middle age, and sharply increases from pre-middle age to old age, continuing to increase as old age progresses.

Adolescence - Hubris and Shame are high.  Well Being, Pride, and Guilt are low.

Young Adult - Hubris is high, though not as high as in Adolescence.  Well Being is low, though not as low as during adolescence.  Pride, Shame, and Guilt are moderate and very comparable to each other.

Middle Age - Hubris is as low as Well Being was during Adolescence.  Shame is moderate.  Guilt, Well Being, and Pride as high as Hubris and Shame during Adolescence.  The are comparable thought Pride is the highest, followed by Well Being, then Guilt.

Old Age - Hubris is low but slightly higher than Middle Age and increasing throughout Old Age.  Shame is moderately high, though nearly as high as during Adolescence and increasing through Old Age.  Guilt is as high as Shame in Adolescence but decreasing though Old Age.  Pride is as high as Hubris in Adolescence.  Well Being is very high and increasing through Old Age.

This blog is not sponsored or supported in any way by Psychology Today.  I do not own any part of the magazine nor am I sponsored or benefited by the publicity of the magazine or it's authors.  I do not exclusively endorse, support, or receive benefit from any of the authors contributing to Psychology Today or the magazine's enterprise.

Spring 2013 Semester Begins!

           I am a week into my second semester as a psychology graduate student here at the University of West Georgia.  This semester looks very promising.  I can tell you that things will be very hectic this semester yet very rewarding.  I have started to toss around ideas for research proposal and thesis ideas early on because I am planning on completing the "clinical" track here but also completing a master's thesis as I want to continue my education at the doctoral level.  It is a rather aggressive goal, but I want to accomplish both of these within three years.  Typically it takes two semesters to write a thesis with all research and studies completed; which is why I'm beginning early.  The courses I'm taking this semester seem to be very much in the vein of what I would write a thesis on.  Not to mention that I am enrolled in a Research Methods course which will require a research proposal of its own (perhaps a good pre-thesis assignment).  I will have more detailed updates and entries as time goes along.

Spring 2013 Course Enrollment:

  • Brief and Narrative Therapy
  • Psychology of Suffering
  • Theoretical and Clinical Assessment
  • Research Methods

Sunday, January 6, 2013

An Unfinished Essay - "Dear Agony" 5/4/11

          At the end of this past year I was cleaning out and deleting old emails when I stumbled across an interesting one I had forwarded to myself.  It was titled "Dear Agony."  Apparently the essay was intended to be a followup to my senior thesis at MacMurray which was titled "Only Through the Pain:  An Ontological Argument for the Necessity of Pain in Human Life."  What makes the essay particularly interesting is that it bears the foreshadow of this blog's title.  However, the email was dated 5/4/2011 which was almost a year before the inception of this blog.  If my memory serves correctly, the essay was initially intended to be a follow up to my senior thesis and keep my academic writing skills up to par, and to be potentially submitted to graduate schools which I was applying to at the time.  As it turns out I wrote a different essay ("Benevolence of a Stranger") to submit to my applying graduate schools (it can be read here).  Nevertheless I'll continue with what I have of this essay exactly as it existed.  The essay that "never was" but I believe has been fulfilled through the living proof of this blog.  The below content is presented in its original unpublished state.

I have nothing left to give
I have found the perfect end
You were made to make it hurt
Disappear into the dark
Carry me to heaven's arms
Light the way and let me go
Take the time to take my breath
I will end where I began
And I will find the enemy within
Cuz I can feel you crawl beneath my skin
Dear agony just let go of me
Suffer slowly
Is this the way it's gotta be
Dear agony...
...Leave me alone, God let me go
I'm blue and cold, black sky will burn
Love pull me down, hate lift me up
Just turn around, there's nothing left
Somewhere far beyond this world
I feel nothing anymore
Dear agony, just let go of me
Suffer slowly
Is this the way it's gotta be
Don't bury me, faceless enemy
I'm so sorry, Is this the way it's gotta be
Dear agony
I feel nothing anymore
[from "Dear Agony" by Breaking Benjamin]

Prologue
          During the fall of 2009 I wrote my undergraduate senior thesis on the necessity for pain in human life.  It was a musically inspired essay expanding upon a lyric in the song "Black Rose" by the band Trapt that states, "... only through the pain, I could find a way to learn."  Again I have been musically inspired.  I have heard and enjoyed the CD and song mentioned above but its message has sunken in to new depths given circumstances and other readings that are detailed below.  The 2009 Essay was nearly thirty pages in length and focused on psychological and emotional suffering.  The option, if none of the exits were taken was a cynical loop.  This cynical loop was (then) described and the admission of suffering, but refusal or ignorance to find or apply a use/reason for it.  It has recently come to my mind "what happens after an exit is taken?"  Often these exits will lead us, sooner or later, to what seems like the same old trip as before; thus we are back where we started.  The essay also leaves an out stating that closed-minded individuals for reasons (religious or not) put up barricades and do not see that life continues beyond their suffering.  This, while it is an "out" for the purpose of the initial essay also leaves a need for further explanation.  Hence, an addendum is here written.  After reading many works of Albert Camus I realized that the "loop" detailed in "Only Through the Pain" was not limited to cynics.  In fact, it was much more comprehensive than I had first realized.  The existential tragedy of life stems from the realization of two "truths."  The first is that life is meaningless.  The second is that humans have a constant need to seek out meaning in our lives.

Seeds for Further Ideas...
          ... that stem from a tree already planted.  My current academic interests directed me towards the magazine "Psychology Today."  On the website for the magazine I read several articles which promoted formerly written ideas.  As is often the case in Philosophy, and life in general, when seeking to answer a question we may find an answer but ultimately (in all probability) are left only with more questions than when we began.

Review of "Only Through the Pain"
Summary of Previous Essay

Writings of Albert Camus
Living authentically, what does that mean?

Writings of C.S. Lewis
Are we in heaven or hell?

The First Article
Existentialism and Psychoanalysis.  What is trauma?  How is trauma beneficial?

The Second Article
"I wish I could be everything that ever lived"

The Third Article
The red pill (The Matrix reference)... is it worth it?

And So We Begin Again
... with more questions than answers, from where I left off in late 2009


Thursday, January 3, 2013

Behaviorism, Cognition, and a GPS

Nothing too serious in this post, just a little bit of fun food for thought, enjoy :)

         Ah yes, the age old debate.  Do human have an innate wisdom and learn things through their own individual development (cognition) - or - do our society and environment teach us as we go (behaviorism)?  I'm not going to take a clear side on this issue as I think that both points are very valid and it is, in fact, a combination of both which leads to our growth and development.
          The purpose of this post is actually a rather mundane incident that made me reconsider the relationship between behaviorism and cognition.  A few days ago I was driving through downtown Atlanta, you know, major highway infrastructure and the works.  I use a GPS in my car and if you have used one before, you know that such devices can be a bit deceptive.  For example, when in a dense interplay of highways and exit ramps, it is not always clear whether one should stay the current route which curves slightly or the exit ramp which curves a bit more aggressively.
          There have been many times in the past where I have made the incorrect decision and had to volley around traffic and deters to correct the mistake.  However, on this particular occasion I made the correct decision.  So, an interesting question popped into my head.

Did I make the correct decision because....

A)  Nearing the age of 25 the frontal cortex of my brain is nearly fully developed and my cognitive capacity has grown since the last use of my GPS?

- or -

B)  I had learned through experience how to more effectively read the screen and directions of my GPS unit?

         

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2012 in Review

Tis the season to be reflecting on the past year.  Most people start things off by making a cliche'd resolution that will (in all honesty) probably fail within the first month.  Rather, I like to start things off with a reflection of the year 2012.  Now that I think about it, it has been quite an eventful year!

          In March I competed in my latest Jiu Jitsu tournament which resulted in me being eliminated in the first round due to a time keeping technicality.  This was  major disappointment considering that I had spent months training at an extra intensity and was not cutting as much weight as I normally do.  However, life goes on....

          Later in the month, however, I was granted acceptance to two of the Psychology Graduate Programs I had applied to; those being the University of West Georgia and the University of Dallas.  This, of course meant that I fulfilled my commitment to myself and opened a celebratory bottle of Bushmills Reserve which I had purchased in May of 2009 with the promise not to open it until I was accepted to Graduate School.  It has been a long time coming, but still tasted just as bitter and sweet as I had remembered!

          In May I competed in my first Amateur Boxing match.  My scheduled opponent did not show up.  I took a catch fight against a larger opponent with more experience.  But I had trained hard, made weight, and I had shown up to fight, not sit on the bench.  I lost the fight by a split decision, literally by one point from one judge.... it doesn't get much closer than that!  I also had the opportunity to be invited to one of good college friend's wedding which was a beautiful celebration.

          June followed with another wedding from another good college friend.  The wedding was beautiful and lets just say the reception celebration was "intense." :)

          In August I left my full time job, benefits, family, and friends in Illinois to travel to the University of West Georgia and begin my graduate studies there.  This also meant finding a new martial arts academy to train at (see below).

            In September I was promoted to the BJJ rank of Blue Belt at the Alliance Academy in Atlanta, Georgia.  This was a major milestone in my competition career!

          October found that I was not able to support myself unemployed and would need to find a part time job while attending school.  This was a very sad month as I had to make the difficult decision to discontinue my jiu jitsu and mixed martial arts training due to financial reasons.  It was heartbreaking.

          During the Thanksgiving break in November I went on my first outdoor rock climbing trip with a few friends.  Rock climbing has since served to fill the community, athletic, and competitive void in my life after (temporarily) discontinuing my combat training.  The trip was a ton of fun, truly something remarkable.  


           Alas, December brings a time for reflection.  I did not make it home for the holidays, but shared an internet Christmas with my family over Skype.  The break has been a nice long one.  I've spent a bit too much time alone in my apartment and charging the depths of my mind, but a little exploration and social deprivation only makes you appreciate how far you've come and what you've accomplished.  But life's too short to watch it from the rearview mirror.  Life is not a spectator sport.  Live and be well.